Short Stories of Bella and Edward
by FreakyTwilightLoverO.O
Summary: Title says it all. But they are random stories
1. Rape

**Bella **_Edward _Alice _Emmett_

**La la la la la la la -dances randomly-**

_Umm...Bella?_

**Yessumm?**

_What are you doing??_

**I'm ****dancing**

_Well i know that your dancing but why??_

**Well because...-intrupted-**

_RAPE!_

**Hehe. RAPE! .**

_O_

**I raped you eddywardd .**

_Oh what a joy. oO_

Well hey there Delilah.

_Okay?_

**Hey, i love that songg .**

_Me too._

**Hey there Delilah what's it like in New York City,**

_I'm a thousand miles away and tonight girl you look so pretty, yes you do_

_Aww, how cute. _

Isn't it?

_No, i was being sartasic._

Ugh.


	2. The Orangee

**Okay...**

**I found that's it's much easier to just say who is saying stuff,**

**so that's what i'm gonna do from now on.**

**

* * *

**

Bella: mwuahahahahahaha...ha

Alice: Are you alright Bella?

Bella: Yes, i just...just have...ta da!!! An orange! .

Alice: hehe..are you gonna eat it?

Bella: No!

Alice: Why not?

Bella: Cause i get it a name. Bob. Bob the Orange! .

Alice: Oh god, she's losing it.

Bella: No i'm not!

Alice: Yes you are.

Bella: No I'M Not!

Alice: Okay, okay, your not, jeez.

Bella: hehehe...-playing with Bob the Orange-

**Two Hours Later**

Edward: Hey love.

Bella: hehehe...

Edward: Umm...are you playing with an orange?

Bella: His name is Bob!

Edward: Umm..Okay??

Bella: .

**Another Two Hours Later**

Alice: Are you still playing with that orange?!?!

Bella: No, after four hours of playing with an orange, i got hungry...

**

* * *

**

**R.I.P Bob the Orange **

**haha, **

**i got the orange idea from my friends cause last year we were obsessed with oranges.**


	3. The Orange 2

**If you read the last one then you probably remember Bob.**

**if you don't,**

**Go read it!!**

**:D

* * *

**

** _The Orange (again)_**

Bella: -sniffle-

Edward: Aww Bella, what's wrong?

Bella: I miss Bob!

Edward: I'm sorry that you miss the oran..I mean Bob. But you ate him and can't get him back.

Bella: Yes i can.

Edward: I don't wanna even know HOW you can get Bob back, you ate him yesterday. Unless...oh god. You didn't?!

Bella: Hehehe...-pulls out another orange-

Edward: Oh god save me now.

Bella: This one isn't Bob.

Edward: Then what...i mean who is it then?

Bella: EDWARD!♥

Edward: Damn, she loves me enough to name an orange after me.

Bella: -giggling and playing with "mini Edward"-

* * *

**Didn't really plan on writing another one on Bob the Orange but i felt the need to anyways.**


	4. Edwarddd

**Umm...i really have nothing to say that much.**

* * *

**_Edward. :D_**

Bella: NO!!!!!

Alice: Bella?!?! What happened!?!?!?!

Bella: Edward! NO!!!

Alice: What!! Something happened to Edward!!!

Bella: Yesss!!

Alice: WHAT HAPPENED!?!?!?!?!?!?

Bella: he died...

Alice: NOOOOO!!!!!

Edward: What's with all the screaming!??!

Alice: Bella just told me that Edward died!!!

Edward: Umm...Alice? Are you alright?

Alice: YES! Wait...your suppose to be dead! How am i talking to a dead person!!!

**(A/N: I know that Edward is already dead cause he's a vampire but he dies again.)  
**

Bella: Not that Edward. My orange named Edward...

Alice: o.O

_**The Next Day**_

Bella: Dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun Dunn.

Alice: This is a funeral not a wedding.

Bella: I know.

Alice: Okay then...

Bella: Dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun Dunn.

Edward: Why do you keep saying that if we're at a funeral not a wedding.

Bella: It's been stuck in my head for days. I was planning on marring Edward the orange...

Edward: o.O

Alice o.O

* * *

**I have no clue how i came up with this one.**

**but it's pretty good to me.**

**Reviewww please!**

**♥**


	5. I Can't Think Of A Title For This One

**_I do not own Twilight or the characters in it._**

**Okay...**

**I'm getting tired of the orange's so now we're moving on. **

**:D**

* * *

Bella: Bad to the bone, da na na na na

-Edward appears out of nowhere wearing like all leather-

Alice: EDDYWARDD! FASHION NO NO!

Edward: Yo.

Bella:O -runs and hugs Edward-

Alice: Aye! Don't you care about fashion at all?!?!

Edward: Not really. I just wanted to scare some people.

Emmett: What the hell Edward?!?!

Edward: Yo Emmett!

Emmett: o.O I'm confused. Is _that_ Edward???

Alice: As scary as it is, _that_ is Edward.

Bella: I don't care what he looks like as long as he's mine. ♥

Alice: Well I care what he looks like, come with me _NOW_ Edward.

Edward: -in low voice- Bella...help me..!

Bella: Why do you want help?

Edward: I read her mind, she's going to _**drag **_me shopping!

Bella: Okay...that calls for help!

Bella to Alice: Umm...I'm just gonna go upstairs and help Edward change back to normal. Okay?

Alice to Bella: Bella, I know he read my mind and told you, your not going to help him. I AM taking him shopping. Plus I threw out all his old clothes, so now he has no chose. Mwuahahaha.

**(A/N: I know what your thinking, Alice wouldn't do anything that mean just to go shopping, or would she...but anyways..i wanted to put a little mean side to Alice)**

Edward: Damn you Alice!

Alice: Love you too Eddywardd.

* * *

**Again,**

**No clue how i came up with _this_ one.**

**Review?**


	6. Strawberries?

**Haha,**

**i thank Image for this one.**

**(read some of her stuff, it's really funny)**

* * *

**_Strawberries?_**

Jasper: -making something for Bella-

Bella: What are you _making_?

Jasper: Nothing...

Bella: Yes you are making something...i just don't know what it is.

Jasper: It's something for you.

Bella: Well what is it then??

-Hands Bella a cup-

Jasper: You drink it.

Bella: Ohh. It thought that you eat it.

Jasper: It's a chocolate milkshake :D

Bella: It tastes like strawberries...

Jasper: What the hell. I didn't put strawberries in it.

Bella:Well you _must_ have cause it **does** taste like strawberries.

Jasper: Arg.

Bella: What are you a pirate now??

* * *

**Lmao.**

**My friend made milkshakes for us and i thought it tasted like strawberries.**

**Revieww?**


	7. Mhm Starbucks

**One of my besties and I came up with this one. So I'm not taking all the credit for this, Image, came up with this too.**

**Check out her stories. **

**And for those who read Bella And DDR?, Sorry i haven't posted a new chapter yet.**

**-FreakyTwilightLoverO.O**

* * *

--Alice and Jasper walk through the front door of the Cullen mansion and walk to the living room. Edward and Bella are curled up on the couch and Alice took it upon herself to sit on Bella's knee while Jasper stand there awkwardly--

Bella: So, Alice do you have any money left?

Alice: Yeah I have a $5. See?

Bella: Um Alice? There's nothing in your hand.

Alice: CRAP! Who the hell stole my $5?

Bella: Cupid.

Edward and Jasper: Who?

Bella: Cupid.

Alice: Bella, be rational. Why would Cupid steal my $5? I'm sure he is off marrying someone right now.

Bella: You owe him.

Alice: He never gave me anything!

Bella: He gave you Jasper.

Jasper: I concur.

Edward: I love how people assume it's always a guy who is cupid.

Alice: Well this just sucks!

-- Alice stomps out of the living room, followed by a crestfallen Jasper. --

Bella: Edward?

Edward: Yes, love?

Bella: Can you take me to Starbucks?

Edward: Why?

Bella: Cause I have $5.

* * *

**Um...**

**Review?**


	8. Evil Piratess

**Question; How do you come up with something like this while listening to Eminem? Sorry it's short. **

**I , as usual, have no clue. I mean it's effin' Eminem. **

**-FreakyTwilightLoverO.O-(([Going crazy))**

* * *

Alice: Arg.

Bella: AHhH!! PIRATE!!!

-Bella runs of of the room screaming " Pirate!"-

Alice: What did I say?

Jasper: "Arg." That made her think you were a pirate...

Bella: Gah! Another pirate!! Noo!!! Don't eat me!!

Alice: o.O

Jasper: Well that was.. umm... odd..

* * *

**I felt the need to add Jasper in this one. And to make Bella seem crazy, sorry. :/**

**Review??**

**-FreakyTwilightLoverO.O**


	9. Chapter 9 What a Joy

**I blame my Math Lab teacher for this one,**

**I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN EVER!! I've been really busy with tons of stuff.**

**But anywaysss...here's the story thingy**

**-FreakyTwilightLoverO.O**

_So Bella and Edward are in Science class and this is what's going on._

Bella: -vibrating- o.O

Random Chick She's sitting next to: Umm...Bella, I think you're vibrating.

Bella: No it's just my phone.

-Opens the phone and See's she has a new text message-

Bella's Text Message: Yeessy Edward?

_going back and forth starting at Bella_

I missy you.

Aww. I missy you too, but we're just across the room...XD

Mr. Banner: Okay kids. Get to work, and remember you're gonna work quick and get dirty in this lab.

Edward's Text Message: Bella..Quick and Dirty.

Bella's Text Message: hahahahaha.

-soon enough she gets out of control-

Mr. Banner: Miss Swan, is there something you find amusing??

Bella: You said "Quick and Dirty". Hahahaha

**Like it?**

**Reviewww!?**


	10. Chapter 10

Edward: You gotta fight for your right-

Bella: TO PARTYY!

Edward: Wait what!? I didn't know you knew that song?!

Bella: I don't.

Edward: You were just singing it!

Bella: No i wasn't.

Edward: Yes you were.

Jacob: No she wasn't.

Edward: Wait what! When did the wolf boy get here!?

Jacob: I've been here the whole time...

Edward: o.O

Jacob: And i was the one singing...

Edward: WHAT! But i heard Bella's voice.

Jacob: That was mine...Cullen i think you're going deaf.

Bella: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okkaayy enough Jacob.

Edward: What?

Jacob: -sigh- Fine, i was having fun though.

Edward: OK I'm so confused now...

Bella: I DO know the words to the song me and Jacob just PUNKED you! Mwahahahaha

Edward&Jacob: o.O


	11. Chapter 11

Bella: I'm blue if I were green I would die I f I were greeen I would die If I were green I would die.

Jacob: I'm blue if I were green I would die I f I were greeen I would die If I were green I would die?

Bella: Copy cat! I hate you! -storms off to Edward-

Edward: Bella? What's wrong?

Bella: OkayiwashangingoutwithJacobandisay"I'm blue if I were green I would die I f I were greeen I would die If I were green I would die."Sothenhegoesandsaysthesamethingandnowhesacopycatandihatehim!

Edward: Woahhh woahh woah. Want me to hurt him?! -smiles sweetly-

Bella: Naw. I'm over that already.

Edward: Awww...

Bella: Sorry Eddyward.


	12. evil i tell you!

Emmett: ARG!!

Bella: Are you alright Emmett!?

Emmett: Wa...huh? Grr...

Bella: Emmett?

Emmett: ...

Bella: Emmett!?

Emmett:...

Bella: I swear I'm talking to a brick wall.

Rosalie: You basically are when he's playing video games.

Bella: WA...Where did you come from!?

Rosalie: Umm...Upstairs...

Bella: Emmett!

Emmett: ...

Bella: Ugh! I give up!

-Bella leaves the room in rage-

Emmett: Yeah Bella?

Rosalie: She left cause you wouldn't answer...

Emmett: Arg! DAMN TETRIS!!

-Throws video game across the room causing it to break-

Rosalie: I'm not buying you another one.

Emmett: :O

**Tetris is evil!**

**hahaha, no really, it is. i have a major issue with it. i..i...cant beat it -sob-**

**lmao,**

**Review?**


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